“How easily we put the most important thing last. How easily can we put it first?” — Shannon Graham.
When was the last time you didn’t get something you wanted? Do you believe the reason is because you didn’t deserve it—that you simply weren’t worthy?
Along with destroying your own sense of value, feeling unworthy can often cause you to mistreat and disrespect those you actually care about, including family, friends, and colleagues. But this is not a life-long sentence of unhappiness. It’s possible to increase your confidence in your own worthiness by working with your beliefs and your feelings—and having your intellect sit this one out.
Create A New View
Here’s what I’ve come to believe. Your worthiness is inherited. You don’t have to work for it. It’s not an “if/then/that” scenario. Most children have an instinctive sense of their value—just ask them and they’ll tell you! As we grow, however, we start listening to what others say of us and try to be what others expect of us, and this can gradually erode our sense of self-worth the way water wears away rock. We may not even notice it happening.
How we view ourselves is directly tied to the kind of life we live. Feeling worthy allows us to be our best both as individuals and members of society—and vice versa. So creating or improving our sense of worthiness means we know the value and necessity of emotional health.
Believe It Then Feel It
Just giving lip service to your self-worth won’t work. It’s not a one-and-done practice any more than just one push-up will give you strong arms. As Zig Ziglar states, “Motivation doesn’t last, neither does bathing, so we recommend it daily.”
Most people believe that children should be shown every day how much they’re loved so they develop a sense of their value. It works the same way for adults, but we’re lucky in that we can give this love to ourselves. And we should! ALL OF THE TIME!
The thinking part of us wants to deny this need to be valuable and convince us that no-one can or should want to feel worthy every minute of every day, which is precisely why you can’t use your intellect as the guidepost for self-worth. In this situation, emotion will get you where you need to go, not logic.
Let yourself bathe in love every single day, and really let yourself FEEL the emotion. The more you practice it, the easier it will be to believe it so it stands up to the intellect that wants to deny and discredit it. THE KEY IS THAT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT AND THEN LET YOURSELF FEEL IT!!!
As you practice experiencing your feelings of worthiness, you’ll begin to experience life in a new and potentially successful way. This positive feedback should help you make a daily habit of sitting with and enjoying the valuable person that you are. It may be that you can even do something wonderful for yourself without feeling guilty!
Mold Your Future
The biggest danger to our self-worth and ultimately our success is when we decide that we need to put conditions on loving ourselves, when we set impossible standards so that we don’t make it. We need to believe we’re valuable JUST BECAUSE.
Remember the story of the Prodigal Son? He came back and he got everything–all of the birthrights JUST BECAUSE of who he is, not because of what he did to earn it.
In the movie The Blind Side, the Tuohy family takes in Michael Oher not because of anything he’s done or anything he can give them but JUST BECAUSE he is a boy who would benefit from the love and support this emotionally strong family could give him.
If you want to listen to classical music on the radio, you have to be tuned into a classical station to hear it. So, too, you need to be tuned into joy, abundance, giving—the best things in life—before you can receive them and give them to others.
Put another way, you can’t give away what you don’t have. It just makes you weaker and only disappoints the person on the receiving end. The more you build up your own belief in your self-worth, the more you can share that strength with others to help them grow. A full watering can will do more for a garden than an empty one.
And this is as true in our professional lives as it is in our personal lives. There are more and more discussions today about how our self-worth equals our net worth in so many important ways.
Start creating your best future by saying this one sentence to yourself daily:
“I am worthy of ALL of the good things in life!”
BELIEVE IT. Then FEEL IT.
There will be a thousand crossroads a day where you can make the decision: worthy/unworthy? Create a new standard for yourself and choose worthiness. EVERY. DAY. EVERY. TIME. Then watch your life’s best predictions come true.